Men; learning to Flirt with Women

So you want to learn how to score with women!

The vast majority of you men are baffled by women. So let’s have some clarification about what most women respond to. Sound good?

To begin with, let’s do some planning, strategic planning. Making a plan ALWAYS comes first, guys! Plan your work, work your plan.

First you must take stock of yourself.

Be honest with yourself, what are your strong suits? And don’t tell me you have none, because you DO have some! EVERYONE DOES! Are you a good joke teller? Are you highly intelligent? Do you love to read books? Have you traveled a lot? Is your voice deep and sexy? The key is to decide what YOU are most self-confident about.

Second, what are your weaknesses? Now don’t DWELL on them. Don’t get depressed about them. Just make a list of them. And then stay away from situations that will make you have to reveal your weaknesses.

Example, lets say you are NOT a good reader. So then don’t get put into a position where she can see you reading in front of a crowd, at least not till you have hooked up with that special woman that interests you.

Another example, perhaps you do not have that knack of dressing “right”. The best person to help you with your clothing and hair style is a woman. Maybe your sister, or a chum, or a cousin, or a co-worker, but trust her and wear what she picks out for you.

Third, (now you are at the same location that she is, like the bar, or the beach, or a party) take stock of what the woman you have decided you want to meet is doing. Is she talking to her girlfriends? Is she flirting with anyone? How does she flirt? What does she do when she is deflecting other men’s come-ons?

As you are subtly watching her, she will become conscious of you. She may not show it, but she WILL detect your interest.

If you stare head-on at her, she will either feel uncomfortable, or feel flattered. Which is it? How do you know the difference? If she feels uncomfortable, she will not smile, will not become coquettish, will not blush, she will not giggle with her girlfriends as she tells them some cute guy is looking at her. Her eyes will furtively look at you in quick instantaneous hostile flashes.

If she appears to feel uncomfortable, stop looking at her. Turn away. Talk to someone else. Go take a leak. But every once in awhile, let her catch you looking at her. Not in a blatant way, just shy glances.

Take your time. Time is on your side. Continue to track her movements, her actions. You can learn a lot by just watching from a distance. You are getting to know her. Don’t stare, just shyly observe her.

This period of watching will help you to determine if she is a taker or a giver. The way she treats others will tell you which she is.

IMPORTANT! IF she is a TAKER, do NOT approach her. She will just hurt you, sooner or later, she will hurt you badly. So don’t give her the chance.

The good news is, if she is a giver, she will not be an ass to you, even right at first!

So, have your friendly comment ready, walk by her, wherever she is, when she is not in the midst of an intense conversation and casually inquire or comment to her WHILE YOU LOOK HER DIRECTLY IN THE EYE, then walk on by to somewhere else, anywhere else, no matter what she says. Come back by in about five minutes and again drop a gentle one line comment that is not intended to “hook” her, but will just let her again hear your voice, and to know that you are interested but not desperate.

Hunting vs. Farming vs. Fishing

Hunting: Don’t be one of those macho assholes that “Hunts” a woman. They “shoot” a one liner that is intended to “kill” her resistance instantly. The only women those work on, is a taker, and you do not want a taker in your life. If a woman falls for a one liner, she is not worth having, believe me!

Fishing: And also don’t be one of those wall flowers that shrinks from making any contact with women. If all you do is stand there, hoping against hope some woman will deign to talk to you, you are fishing. And fishing is a lousy way to find a girlfriend. Takes forever, and you have no control over who “bites” on your “bait.”

Farming: Now this is how decent people get together! In the above example of how to cultivate a friendship, I talked about just passing by, and farming her bit by bit. Think about the metaphor. A farmer, tills the ground, then comes back and plants a few seeds, and then comes back and waters, and then fertilizes (don’t take that too literally!) and weeds, and waters, . . . . and it takes a bit, but you will have a harvest if you farm your relationship right.

And . . . women LIKE to be farmed. That is what romance is: farming the relationship! Don’t be in a hurry, and let your collective friendship grow.

As you gain a little confidence, start “farming” several “plots of ground”, i.e. talk to a number of women wherever you are. Don’t push any of them for commitment. Just let the relationships grow.

But the key is to realize that you don’t have to live or die by first contact. A genuine smile and a gentle touch is all it takes to convince a woman that you are “worth it!”

Next time, After First Contact!