Tomorrow I go to hospital for futher tests, and possibly even surgery, depending on what the tests show.
I am scared.
Not about dying. I have done that enough already that I look forward to being back with God.
I am concerned about losing some of me. Losing some of my personality, of my vision, my hearing, my coordination, things like that.
Quality of life is far more important to me than quantity.
I know that I will be bald, my hair removal is a part of getting me ready to do a biopsy of my brain.
My hair is a large part of who I am. I don't know why, but it is. It is already snow white. That is hard enough to accept for a 41 year old woman. But to be bald, totally bald . . . . again . . . wow . . . .
Last time, when I whacked it off myself, Lieza and Linda kept caressing my hair as it grew back in. They told me it was like touching a tiny chick. They called my hair chicken feathers. It stuck straight out of my head like the fine feathers on a little Easter Chicken. They liked it, they giggled and caressed my head as we sat on the couch and talked.
I guess I will keep that thought in my head as they shave my head tomorrow.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
2 comments:
You have been in my thoughts and prayers all day. I know you're scared, if you weren't I would be even more concerned for you. Being scared is a good thing. Hair will grow back and your sweet personality will overcome the baldness. FIGHT to get well! Luv, Dar
good luck D
hope it all works out for the best
js
Post a Comment