Guys, Get the Skid Out of Your SHORTS!

She was breathing hard as her hand reached for his fly. This was to be their very first intimate sexual encounter together! This night had been a long time coming, and they were both incredibly excited!

Slowly, she lowered his zipper, then moved his jeans down his hips, watching with huge, wide, excited eyes as the bulk of his cock bulged against his whitey-tighty underwear.

She was on her knees, so excited about seeing him for the first time. Would he be perfect? Would he be just the right size? What would he taste like, smell like? Did he use talcum powder? How would his testicles look? Would they be soft and wonderfully kissable?

Breathless, she pulled his underwear down. His beautiful cock sprang out! THERE IT WAS! At last!

She smiled, Then saw the skid in his shorts! And SMELLED it!

The look on her face said it all!

Well, you can imagine how enjoyable it was for her after that! And you really want her to kiss and suck on what has been dragging though the shit in your drawers? And SMELLS like shit?

Get a grip mister! On your HYGIENE, not her head . . . . . .

So you, like most men, are mystified by how “it” gets there? You wipe until nothing shows on the TP, right? . . . . And it STILL shows up?

Well, buddy, today is your lucky day. I am going to tell you how to NEVER have skid in your shorts again!



Lets talk first about what that little poop chute of yours is like INSIDE.

If you were to look at your bum with a mirror, you would see your anal opening. It looks like it is closed. And for the most part, it is! BUT, . . . . INSIDE that cute little rose of yours is a little chamber, at the top of which is a sphincter muscle. This interior sphincter muscle, called the “Lifting Muscle”, is what actually holds your “loafs” inside your poop chute until you relieve yourself (“take a shit” for some of you). This chamber between your anus and your “Lifting Muscle” is about the same length as the length from the tip of your middle finger to the second knuckle.

Now, when you “pinch your loaf” as you sit on the toilet, the pinching actually occurs at TWO points. It occurs at both the bunghole opening you can see in your mirror, and also at that interior Lifting Muscle sphincter. So you often end up with about two inches of poop inside your butt.

Didn’t even know it was there, did you?

Well, when that sexy butt of yours moves, it massages that little chamber. And as you use your butt muscles (your gluteus maximus muscles) they periodically squeeze your little chamber with sufficient force to push some of your yucky fecal material out of your bung hole. And from there it is only a short distance to your shorts.

So that is how it gets there in your underwear, DESPITE your best efforts to wipe it all away when you are in the restroom.



So how do you stop that from happening? Simple! But it does require you to change how, and WHAT, you wipe. EVERY TIME!

You must cleanse that little chamber of the fecal material that gets trapped in there! EVERYTIME!

Let’s talk about how to do that.



We already know that that little chamber is the length of the very part of your hand that you ALREADY wipe with. If you could get your middle finger inside that little chamber, you could swab it out! The problem becomes not rubbing blisters on your bung hole as you accomplish that swabbing out.

The way to do that is to WET the TP before you insert it into you. The water does two things. First, it acts as a lubricant on the TP to stop it from abrading your bunghole. Second, it allows you to actually WASH your inner body.

The easiest way to wet the TP is to choose a toilet that is beside a sink, or bath tub. Simply wet the TP each time before you swab it up inside you. You may have to adjust the amount of TP you use with each wipe. And the number of squares of TP you will need depends on what type it is. Single ply TP takes more squares than double ply. But even between brands, the optimum number of squares varies. So just experiment until you find the right number of squares. You will know you have it right by how easy it goes into you and still keeps your finger from getting soiled. As a starting point, Charmin brand double ply toilet paper will be about right with four squares.

The only real hitch occurs when you are in a toilet stall that has no sink. In that case you have to use the water in the toilet bowl. I know, not optimum, but not as bad as having smelly ugly shit in your drawers.

So with a toilet with no other source of water, make sure you flush the toilet before you sit down. That will usually clean the bowl of the toilet pretty well. And then flush again after you have deposited your poop into the bowl. Then you can, without touching the sides, dip the TP into the clean water in the bowl, and wet it that way.

Inserting your middle finger into you, continue to swab out your little chamber until NO fecal material shows on the paper. This can take awhile, depending on your diet. And believe me; your wives will thank you for doing this. It makes wash day so much more pleasant.

Well, it is as simple as that. And you will have much better luck getting the “Head” that you all love so much . . . . giggle