Thursday, July 07, 2005

Encouraging Your Man's Stable Erection

Do you wish your lover, whether he be your hubby, or boyfriend, or just a one night stand, would have a nice steel-hard erection?

It is the woman’s obligation to make sure the man is sexually stimulated enough to be able to maintain that erection you want. Well, lets talk about a man’s erection a bit before we talk about helping him “get it up.”

The human male is the only mammal that does not have a bone in his penis. Did you know that? Every other mammal has a bone in their penis that aids in both achieving penetration and maintaining a penetrative erection inside the female of the species. Human males do not have that little “advantage”.

The human penis consists of three “columns” of spongy tissue that, when filled with blood, engorge. As the male is stimulated enough, the engorging causes both extension and swelling.

In the animal kingdom, the stimulus for said swelling and extension is triggered by smell. That is mostly not true of the human male though. For instance, a male dog’s nose is generally about 100 times more sensitive than a human male’s nose. We do emit pheromones on a limited scale, and they can trigger subconscious lust when we breathe them in, but when we get to the erection stage, the pheromones have pretty much become a non-issue. From thereon out, it is the human mind that maintains a male’s erection.

Our lovers have to be mentally stimulated to achieve ejaculation (cum, in other words). Indeed, they HAVE to stay MENTALLY stimulated to maintain their erection. Let your man become bored in the bedroom, and pretty soon his erection will have a dysfunction. The dysfunction is YOU! YOU have not done your part to keep his attention focused on staying nice and hard.

Well, here are a few of my tricks to make that happen:

1) This tip will seem like it is so obvious once you think about it. Caress his body! Find his hot spots. Typical hot spots for men are nipples, back, lips, butts, neck, ears, back of his neck, as well as the old tried and true touch: his cock and balls. Other places he will love to be touched are his perineum (between his balls and butt hole), his anal rose, and the back of his knees.
2) Talk to him in language that is filled with “four letter words”. Tell him of your excitement. Tell him how you like to be touched, in graphic terms. Tell him how good he makes you feel when he suckles or kisses, pulls and twists you. Tell him how good it feels when he puts his mouth to your vaginal opening. Teach him how to pleasure you best orally. Guide his hands, his mouth, his cock.
3) Tell him your fantasies. Urge him to tell you his. Act out his fantasies. Act out yours. Be honest about what you think about , and don’t spare the four letter words . . . . or the details. Wonderfully lurid details of your fantasy are key.
4) If you are not good at fantasies, or just to stave off any chance of boredom, find some erotica and read it to him as you are making love, or teasing each other sexually. Act out the stories.
5) Visit theatres and shops that specialize in sex paraphernalia, videos and dildos and that sort of thing. (Get over your embarrassment about it! It is FUN!)
6) Urge him on in lurid detail as you and he get close to orgasms. Use four letter words as you tell him you are going to cum from his big fucking cock, for example.
7) Tell him the truth, that his cock size is, or is not, an issue. But be honest about it. The Kama Sutra describes our vagina (the book calls them our “Yoni”) as either Rabbits, Does, or Elephants. Which size comparison is realistic for yours? Does your lover’s equipment match in size? Tell him, one way or another. But be honest. Don’t make him wonder. If his is to big, or too small, tell him. Work out a satisfactory way of having sex that takes that into consideration.
8) Get good at giving blow jobs to completion. That is one of my favorite things to do. I love to catch my man soft, and suckle him to hardness.
9) Find a position that you both enjoy without stressing him out. For example, the tried and true “missionary position” puts a huge strain on a man’s musculature. If you wear him out by forcing him to hold himself up while he enjoys you, he will be more apt to NOT stay erect. His blood is being used to feed his muscles and cool him. Either way, his erection can soften and disappear.
10)Keep him cool. If your lover overheats, his blood will go to his skin to try to cool him. That causes him to loose his hard-on.
11) Discuss threesomes, gang bangs, or whatever is in your fantasy honestly and openly. If you would like to have him share you, or you want to share him, go ahead and do it. The Bible says it is OK! Honest! It even says it is OK for you to enjoy another woman! Fulfill your fantasies with your lover present. Let him watch and/or participate.

I hope you can learn to enjoy your lover. But just remember . . . it is your responsibility to arrive at the Palace of Sex ready and willing to participate fully. It is YOUR responsibility to keep his prick hard as steel if that is what you like.

Take the responsibility for it and be forever rewarded. Do NOT blame him for your OWN failings.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Deni...you are a "piece of work!" :) I come from that generation when it was the male's "responsibility" to provide everyone's pleasure. How we were supposed to know what worked for each woman we might come in contact with was never explained.
And of course, the woman's job was to lay there and hope for the best, cause most had no clue what "worked" for them.

It would have been wonderful to have known you in another time and place...or even now for that matter :). Such fun it would be to be with someone like you.
KC
write2luv_77@yahoo.com

Deni said...

KC, it is amazing what some honest communicaiton will provide, right? Wink . . . and may your orgasms full-fill her.

Anonymous said...

Deni. . .you should be teaching and counseling couples. Your forthright, direct and knowledgeable approach is refreshing, incredible and wonderful. More women and men would benefit and enjoy sex soooo much more if they could grasp what you are trying to tell them. It is amazing how little we as a culture really know about sex. We talk about it all the time, it's everywhere in the media, on talk shows and on billboards, but we devote so little in resources to truly understanding the male and female sexual responses and how to promote fun, guilt-free enjoyment of sexual activity. You keep on truckin' Darlin', you are truly a joy to those of us who read your writings and I just frankly can only begin to imagine what you must be like in person. However, I can't even begin to think about your real life sexual escapades without getting a woodie.

Love ya,
karli

Anonymous said...

can i get more info?