I have received a number of comments regarding a previous article “Are you Making Love, or Having Sex, Or Just Fucking?”
One of the issues that came up was, in a Dominant/submissive relationship, or a cuckolding relationship, where one person is in control of the other one, is that still "Making Love"? Is there still “farming” going on in the sexual component of the involved lovers?
At first I was of the opinion that no, there was not, it was a duality of one partner having sex (fishing) and that the other partner was just fucking (hunting) their partner.
However, after thinking at length about this, I have changed my mind.
This morning, as I was soaping myself in the shower I decided to slap my clittie a bit, just like my beloved Lieza does to me sometimes. I love the way “she” wiggles when Liez does that to me. So then it struck me (pardon the pun) that when Lieza does that to me, I welcome it, I like it, I adore how it feels to have her do that to me. So even though she is being perhaps a bit unconventional as she “makes love to me” that way, it is consensual, it is welcome, and it makes me feel loved by her. She on the other hand, loves doing it to me, she knows I love her doing it, and she does it because she enjoys it.
So there the answer was! We were actually making love to each other, even though in that case she was Domme and I was submissive to her, receiving what could easily be regarded as abuse in other relationships. But it was a fulfilling and loving thing she was doing it to me. I wanted it, and I appreciate her doing it.
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2 comments:
can i get more info?
I want to piggyback on Madame Deni's idea on love/fucking. I realize that I am not well-versed in love but I am intelligent and understand that one needs a reservoir of tolerance and a wellspring of adventure/curiosity and I have that in abundance. My passing comments, I believe will enhance Madame Deni's thoughts. Instead of describing what is love and what is fucking I would like to go on another path and describe where I think love is and where fucking is.
I think love is a many-tiered, often ephemeral, elusive and sly word that defies traditional definitions. So, instead of the oft-repeated and saccharine idea of love, I would like to describe a scenario of "love."
I like Madame Deni's blogs because they are so provocatively written as to make you ponder as well as to excite. This blog is perfect for my idea of love because it permits those with vanguard ideas to express them freely without fear of alienation.
As Madame Deni alluded earlier to the debate of where true love can be observed (in a niche lifestyle relationship), I would like to expound on her ideas as well.
Let us go beyond the traditional idea of equality, fairness, and compromise; areas where I think "love" is traditionally embraced and held dear. Let us explore the uncomfortable, humiliating, shocking, and, eye-opening features of a niche lifestyle, for this is the arena in which I think true love can be felt.
When a person unfamiliar with a niche lifestyle ponders what they see, they may feel expectantly aghast at the apparent degradation and unadulterated submission as being peculiar at the least and vile at the most and assign all manners of traditional beliefs upon this niche lifestyle.
But they remain remiss. They do not see the consensual nature of such debauchery and degradation. The neophytes do not see the merits of this lifestyle; the boundaries established, the expressed willingness and permission granted solely for the pursuit of order and pleasure.
To suppress one's identity which at birth was taught them; to abandon the gender specific roles of male superiority/virility and female inferiority/vulnerability is apocryphal. But this is where true love blossoms; not a probing expedition of the lifestyle, whatever, it may be, but an invasion and mastery of your notions and beliefs framed within the lifestyle. The capacity to love unconditionally does not denote convenience and opportunity but a round-the-clock observance of the lifestyle. This is true love.
Unconditionally means suppressing one's own fears, joys, and opinions; allowing the unfamiliar and queer hold you and lead you into an existence that one would never have willingly entered before. As consensual adults, of course, giving into one's desires is framed within boundaries of respect and admiration. Beyond that, conferring total control to someone else is total love.
Now, this is a lifestyle for a very few because of these constraints but should one enter into such a lifestyle, the gratifying, uplifting experience of doing something that no one else is doing is remarkably satisfying.
I realize that this is a fetish for some and a lifestyle for a few and although there is a sexual tension surrounding the electric-like nature of a niche lifestyle, one should not be misled into believing that any such niche lifestyle is a hedonistic abandonment of reality. A bacchanal-esque revelry is not what true believers appreciate but when intercourse is introduced it may be one of the most satisfying, momentous sexual encounters in recent memory.
As for fucking, I think that may be an attraction for many who enter into such novel relationships but the real joy is in submitting willingly and unconditionally, enduring humiliation endlessly being enslaved to the desires of the master.
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