Flirting, Stage Two, for Men

So! You have finally made contact! (See previous article)

Not with a killer one liner, which never works anyway, but by farming your "intended friend" a bit as you two, over a few hours, become speaking acquaintances.

Now comes the time to begin talking to each other.

A word of warning here. If you are looking for a long term relationship, drop any idea of taking her to bed tonight! It does happen, but the relationship rarely survives.

“So what!” you ask me? Well, stop reading any further because this article is not about seduction, it is about flirting, good old fashioned flirting, the kind where both parties grow to care about each other. Not the quickie slam bam thank you ma’am of the current generation. If you wish, you can console yourself by realizing that long term friendships are really the best sex anyway.

So what do you talk about those first few hours anyway?

You talk about HER!

With your head inclined forward, look her in the eye. Continue to look her in the eye as she talks. Ask her questions like “What is your favorite color, animal, food, movie, song, movie star, car, etc.” Ask her about her childhood, her family, her relationship history, her friends. Do you get the point?

And if she asks you about YOU, limit your answer to four informative sentences, then ask about her again.

And be honest, brutally honest. If she asks something you would rather not answer just yet, tell her so. Tell her “I would rather not answer that question until we know each other better.”

Do NOT be afraid to talk about your fears. Or your past. She is going to find out sooner or later anyway, so get it out on the table. Gauge her reaction.

And at this stage of a relationship (brand NEW) you should already be looking for any tell-tale signs of incompatibility, or a Taker.

A Taker is a person that does not give easily and naturally. If you are a giver, then being around a Taker feels great, . . . . for awhile. But then, and pretty darn soon, you start feeling taken advantage of. And you ARE being taken advantage of!

The only relationship that feels good forever is one between two givers. Takers will never be happy. Nor will a giver who is with a Taker be happy very long. That relationship mix just will not work out, long term.

If indeed YOU are the Taker . . . I feel sorry for you and the people around you. YOU are miserable, and THEY are miserable. So change yourself. It is hard, very hard, to become a giver if you are by nature a Taker, but it can be done, and it is the only way for you to ever become happy!