Sex Tip: Crying During Sex, Ending a Relationship

Dear Deni,

I was wondering a couple of things. When my lover and I have sex and I cumm I cry. Is that natural?

Why does it happen?

Also if you waited for a person that you have known for 3 years and you finally get the opportunity to have that person, and it was not sexually satisfying, how do you tell that person?

Swan



Dear Swan,

I have cried during and after sex too. It is perfectly natural that when you are feeling intense emotions, they can express themselves through tears.

Sometimes I weep because I am so glad to have been pleasing to my lover.

Sometimes I cry because I needed the release of cumming so desperately.

And sometimes I cry because making love (or just having sex) is such a relief of my pent up emotions or frustrations.

So, as long as you aren't crying because it hurt, or your feelings were hurt by your lover, just go with the flow and know that many other women (and even men) cry as a part of, or after, great sex.

Second question: The first time you have sex, or ride in a car with someone as they drive, can be highly illuminating. You learn a lot about that person from how they make love or how they drive.

Sometimes the sexual tension between two people causes them to overlook certain characteristics that can be a real turn off when they are seen in post orgasmic relaxation.

Sometimes your lover is unskilled, or uncaring, or simply so eager that they loose it and do not manage to satisfy their lover.

Sometimes the chemistry is just not right between two people. The sexual tension can be there, but once the lust is satisfied, you come face to face with the lackof chemistry.

And sometimes two people have to learn how to communicate about what feels good to each of them. It is akin to having to learn that other person's language as though they speak a foreign tongue.

Your other question was "How do you tell them?"

I would suggest that you NOT tell them.

I would suggest that instead you just tell them that you have reconsideredand would prefer not to indulge yourself with them again.

If they pressure you with "WHY?" tell them that it is YOUR decision, and that is that. End of story. Don't allow them to pressure you into doing what you do not wish to do.

If you wish to continue to be their friend, then tell them so in unequivocal terms. If having sex with them has taught you that even that is no longer what you want, be honest and tell them that you wish to end your friendship with them. Say it nicely, but be firm and do not vacillate. You do not owe them an explanation of why. Sometimes it is easier to write it down and mail or email it to them than to say it in person.

In his book 'In Search of Excellence' written by Tom Peters, he advises us to"Fail quickly!"

I agree, espcially in matters of the heart.

Deni
http://www.samarelsexguide.com/