A Washington, DC, airport ticket agent offers some examples of why our country is in trouble...
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to Explain the length of the flight and the passport information, then she interrupted me with, 'I'm not trying to make you lookstupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts.'
Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, 'Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa.'
Her response - click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, 'Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!' (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, 'Is it possible to see England from Canada?' I said, 'No.' She said, 'But they look so close on the map.' (OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1 hour layover in Dallas.
When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, 'I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.' (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am got to Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones.
Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, 'Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?' I said, 'No, why do you ask?' She replied, 'Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!'
After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag onher luggage.
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, 'Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?' OMG!! Go back to 3rd. grade.
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, 'How do I know which plane to get on?' I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, 'I was told my flight number is 823, but none of theseplanes have numbers on them.'
10. A lady Senator called and said, 'I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?' I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, Fl. on a commuter plane.. She said, 'Yeah,whatever, smarty!'
11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.' I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, 'Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!'
12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, 'I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York.' I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, 'Are you sure that's the name of the town?' 'Yes, what flights do you have?' replied the lady.
After some searching, I came back with, 'I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere. 'The lady retorted, 'Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!'
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, 'You don't mean Buffalo, do you?'
The reply?
'Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.'
Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!
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2 comments:
No one has to read the situations outlined here to relate to the general disarray and perpetual discontent with the functionaries of government. What, otherwise, would be routinely ignored as foibles of the inattentive or lackluster service of the airline industry, in this case, is amplified by the rigid, impersonal, and restrictive nature of the now-vigilant security grid that has been in place.
It is my opinion, hence this diatribe, that Americans generally are unappreciative of the grandeur,libertine, and pluralistic nature of American government and attendant citizenship. In order to truly embrace the near demise of the American experience through our history as a nation, I believe we must be regularly attacked and harrassed; have our lives and livelihood torn asunder, and be on constant war footing akin to the bloody precipice of a political tightrope and a pyrrhic military victory as the Israeli situation clearly outlines. For every ounce of blood spilled I believe the Israelis must truly appreciate like no one else the true meaning of patriotism, pride, and sacrifice.
I recently read that the Bush administration has guaranteed Jerusalem a multiyear $30 billion military pact that would allot the Israelis the latest hardware and arsenal in the US inventory. This was an attempt to offset the military aid slated for the region's moderate regimes including Saudia. In order to tilt the region's balance of power away from Shia Iran. In all honesty this is a superficial, yet proven method of rallying the fence-sitters to our POV. I think that it is money well spent. And money has proven to be the grease for the wheel of action.
As an aside, I'd like to wax on about the shortsighted premature and unproven basis of the Democratic plan for the near future. In my state, a televised debate of the presidential wannabes will congregate in IA. How I loathe to hear what they have to say. They have nothing advanced on illegal immigration. In fact, many of the Hispanic votes are so crucial to the Democratic vote that you can expect doublespeak and inaction on their part. We must not believe our own propaganda of, "give me your poor, hungry, and downtrodden..." et al. In the rush to populate and industrialize this vast transcontinent, the business, industry, and politics triumvirate rode roughshod over the Constitution and propagated the necessary inducements (like cheap and plenty land) to welcome the hordes of European settlers.
This is not the case anymore. We, ourselves, have our own progeny of the downtrodden, the poor, and the hungry. We do not need more mouths to feed. Congress and the Courts should reverse the generous political asylum standards and vigorously return all illegal nationals and thwart further incursions by unwelcome, often criminal, uneducated souls who would otherwise benefit from the burdensome and clogged healthcare systems and everything else as well which many American citizens cannot or will not benefit from.
Many countries have draconian immigration policies often stymieing someone's desire to immigrate. Why should it be easier for illegals to enter this country but for Americans to have a hard time gaining citizenship in theirs?
I hear the incessant chortle of the generic rally cry of disappointment and frustration from many African-Americans and others who decry what they deem the extralegal excess of the Bush administration. This criticism unleashed en masse by Americans who have historically been loathe to participate in the political process, much less, care to vote, is not insurmountable (because I think that much of what they think they know is borne from ignorance)but troubling.
For instance, the clamor by human rights orgs to close down Gitmo. The admin has already declared its plans to close this camp years before. The problem lies in the fact that there are not enough countries who want their own nationals back. Now, does anyone see the incontrovertible need for a camp to house dangerous terrorists who would otherwise destablize and menace the world? The Pakistanis have not expressed a desire to have their citizens. Neither has Afghanistan. Nor Saudia or much of anyone else. The admin is also negotiating with recipient countries the HUMANITARIAN/SECURITY conditions under which the prisoners would be released.
Secret prisons in Europe have been another point of contention. It is amazing to what lengths other, non-democratic governments regularly and consistently know things that the USA largely does not. It is by reason alone, that we should always consider the utility of alternative interrogations and tactics to gain for us survival and other informations deemed vital to our knowledge. I believe that the Eastern European govts largely aided the USA out of its own priorities and have not generally been overly convinced by the US govt to be helpful. And if, in the process of participating in mutually beneficial activities garners for the host countries economic largesse and a financial windfall, I would think this to be a natural condition of human activity and not anything so alarming.
Now, I'm surprised by the behaviors of otherwise sedate Americans who view incorrectly (minus their opinions) the Bush admin's actions as tantamount to be baseless, without precedent, and improper. If anyone would care to peruse the history of America they would see that the Democratic machinations to be evident and clearly outlined.
The president has become a lightning rod for newly discontented people who devour the liberal spin of the media. Let us educatedly separate displeasure with the Iraq War, for example, from the hysteria unleashed by the incessant violence in that country.
War is a violent business and we have every right to have believed that Hussein posed a danger. By his intransigence and secretive nature, we could not adequately determine for our own peace of mind the meaningfulness of many of Hussein's actions. Based on past and future behaviors and potential the admin surmised the need to act quickly. I never supported the now defunct rationale for the Iraqi invasion but I blame the havoc and mismanagement of Iraq to overconfidence and tunnel vision. The dearth of alternative voices is another example. We must remember that the linchpin intel information was not supplied by the US intelligence but by MI-5.
The myopic vision of Pentagon planners and the sheepish politicians would be akin to the erroneous belief in WWI that the war would be over in a few months to a year which later dragged on for over four years. Or the dominant belief during the US Civil War that that war would be settled in a matter of months to perhaps one year which then lasted for five years.
And let us not forget the voting records of many Democrats during the debate to war. Had Bush known more? That is for Bush, the individual man, to shoulder the burden and not Bush, the politician. There are so many voices which clamored for invasion it was almost inevitable. And as any American who cares to note that our American history is fraught with many examples of domestic and global conflict which later materialized to be baseless and wholly fueled by the popular beliefs of the day. The Spanish-American War. The War of 1812.
As for the KIA/MIA record, it is arguably the lower estimated number in recorded American warfare. War is necessary in that we cannot guarantee by words alone the security of real estate. We must have boots on the ground for that. There have been noticeable military progress. The combined Iraqi-US force has rounded up hundreds of terrorists. Unearthed evidence of bomb plants and strategies. What is lacking is POLITICAL PROGRESS. There is rampant, fatalistic ennui in Baghdad and its politicians,jockeying, naked corruption, missing funds, self-aggrandizement. It's like the days of the Ming dynasty famous for the Empress Dowager's mismanagement, weakness (in the face of predatory business corporations) and vulnerability (from the top-heavy nature of governance and from a festering discontent of the masses) from within.
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